


Catching Up

by genericfanatic



Category: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
Genre: Getting Together, Internalized Aphobia, Internalized Biphobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, demi bi laurence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26605498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Granby comes to visit, and he, Laurence, and Tharkay go out on the town. But an encounter with an old friend sends them all into disarray, and Laurence is faced with his own feelings and identity.
Relationships: John Granby & William Laurence, William Laurence/Tenzing Tharkay
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	Catching Up

**Author's Note:**

> you can take demi bi laurence from my cold dead hands.

Temeraire wanted to sire another egg for Iskierka. 

The details of why were still unclear to Laurence, something about a letter from Ning, and the Chinese breeding program. The point was, Temeraire’s pavilion was a scurry of activity, all the house servants being called in to make sure the entire area was as pristine as humanly possible (“to prevent her making any noise about it” Temeraire had said.) 

It took until Granby and Iskierka were practically overhead for Temeraire to call the work satisfactory, and so Tharkay gave everyone a break for the evening, leaving the house to themselves. 

Iskierka landed out in the yard just as the servants were making their way out. Temeraire bowed his head to her, “Welcome, to my humble abode,” he said, gratefully. Laurence and Tharkay standing by to greet their guests. 

Iskierka looked over the adornments Temeraire had added to the pavilion. It was all done in Chinese style, as much as possible, and only adjusted slightly for weather. “Well, it’s smaller than mine,” Iskierka said, “But that’s to be expected. You know, I had gems installed in the walls just this past month.”

Temeraire looked ready to call the whole thing off, turning scandalized over to Laurence. Laurence gave him a shrug, and then turned to Granby, who looked just as harried about the whole situation. “Be nice, Iskierka,” Granby urged as he made his way over to the other men. “Honestly,” he said softly, “she’s been looking forward to this for several weeks now,”

“Ha!” Temeraire responded, as Granby had not said it low enough. Iskierka glared at her captain. 

Laurence sighed, “We’ll leave you to your privacy,” he told the dragons, before they began squabbling in earnest, and ushered Granby into the house with Tharkay. 

“This is nice,” Granby said, looking around the house, “I remember when you first inherited it, the changes are astonishing. If I hadn’t flown us here myself, I might have believed we stepped into a whole other house.”

“You can thank Will’s mother for the lion’s share of the decor,” Tharkay said, grabbing some port to pour into glasses, “I was completely hopeless at first, and Will not much better, but she got us in touch with a designer in London. Honestly Will handled a lot of it for me.”

“Oh, it was no trouble,” Laurence said, “I quite like just being able to help with frivolous things. With Tenzing running the estate and finances, and Temeraire working with Perscitia in Parliament, it’s good to be helping out.” 

“Finally putting your gentleman training to good use!” Granby said, taking the offered port from Tharkay. Laurence gave him a flat look, but it only made him laugh. “Well then. Do you happen to have any food in the house, I forgot to eat up before I left Dover, and I’m starving.” 

Tharkay and Laurence looked at each other abruptly, realizing in the haste to have everything set up for Temeraire, they’d gone and dismissed all the servants without thinking of food for themselves. While all three were perfectly capable of doing some base survival in the wild, they were all terrible at cooking for anything decent. 

Laurence came up with a solution, “How about we go into town?” He said, “After all the adventures the three of us have been on, surely we can find something worthwhile.”

Granby, who picked up on the situation, snorted, “Sure, sure,” he said, “Somewhere fancy, though, I think we’ve all done enough roughing it adventures for a lifetime. And I need to use my fancy manners for something.”

Laurence scoffed, but still smiled, “Come on, we have a couple horses out for our carriage.”

“You keep horses?” Granby said, laughing, and following Laurence to the door. 

They both only paused long enough to notice Tharkay wasn’t following. “You both go on ahead,” Tharkay said, nodding them along, “You have a lot to catch up on.” 

Laurence felt his heart drop as Tharkay turned away, “Oh nonsense,” Laurence said, “I’m sure he has a lot to catch up with you as well.” 

Tharkay shook his head. “I have some work I have to be doing,” he said, “You both should enjoy yourselves.”

“And you should enjoy yourself with us,” Laurence said, frowning. It was very important to him they all went together, “Come on, now, it won’t be the same without you there.”

Tharkay sighed, looking for another excuse, but Granby raised a hook to stop the both of them, “I’ve got this, Will,” he said, turning to Tharkay with his full attention, “Iskierka’s a screamer.”

Tharkay went pale. He set his face, staring the man down. Granby only smiled, setting the pair of them into a battle of wills. 

A low thump echoed from the pavilion to alert them activities had begun. “....Fine,” Tharkay said, and Laurence brightened. He put an arm around Tharkay and pulled him along before he could change his mind. 

Tenzing, for all his complaining, seemed to accept the meals. Now that the war was over, French food was becoming more popular again, and there were entire restaurants to eat at with the cuisine. 

Laurence guided them both through conversation, with a lot of other gentleman walking along. Both Tharkay and Granby had spent enough time with Laurence to know generally what was expected, though it didn’t come as naturally. Mostly, the three talked among themselves, Granby telling them all his stories of the covert. 

Tharkay was quiet, but shared a smile with the pair of them, listening intently and even commenting occasionally on Granby’s stories. Laurence took up the slack, telling Tharkay’s stories for him, “Tenzing has been working on getting the lands set up as an official stopping point for dragons, and a resting point for ferals. It’s been all sorts of hell dealing with the local advisory boards, who keep telling stories of children being snatched from their cribs, as though it were an honest risk.”

“Ah, if only he had a dragon captain around to argue eloquently for him,” Granby smirked.

“Admiral,” Tharkay corrected, “And yes, Laurence has been very helpful. It seems silly to me to have so much land around just to have it. I’ve set up some garden, but it’s not quite large enough for a full farm. So, might as well do something.”

“He is putting the other gentlemen to shame, he means,” Laurence corrected, “Actually doing something useful to care for people instead of showing off for no reason.” 

Granby smiled between the pair of them, “Fascinating,” he said, then went to chew on his food a bit while Laurence continued explaining.

Or he did until a flash of familiar hair caught his eye. “Will?” Granby asked, from far away, or so he seemed. “Is everything alright?” 

It couldn’t be….but it was. None other than Edith Woolvey nee Galman walked through the front, holding her handbag. Laurence hadn’t seen her since before her husband Woolvey had died, right beside him. 

Guilt flooded him. He tried to look away, but his eyes kept going over to her, until she met his. Then he was trapped, she held his gaze like a fish frozen in a pond. He could only wait in shock until she would pull away. 

She didn’t, though. Instead, she spoke something to her companion, and then walked directly for Laurence’s table. 

He stood abruptly, too abruptly perhaps. Several of their table neighbors sent him stares, but he didn’t pay them mind. He could only watch, as Edith came to him like an oncoming storm. 

“Hello, William,” She said, when she was in front of their table. “I had heard you moved into this area. I see it was true.”

Laurence nodded, “About a year ago now,” he swallowed, “What brings you so far north? I trust your family is well?”

Edith smiled sadly and nodded in return. “My children are staying with my parents for the summer. I’ve come to visit my brother for the dance circuit out here.” She gave Tharkay a side glance, “Will you be going? I’m sure Mr. Tharkay must have been invited. 

Laurence looked over to Tharkay, and was surprised to see him looking a bit on edge. It was hard to notice in someone like Tharkay, but Laurence had long become accustomed to, if not all, at least several of his facial expressions. He said nothing about any invitations, and Laurence thought it very possible he had not been given any after all. “Well,” Laurence said, “In my retirement, I think it my right not to have to endure some of society’s views on Aviators.” 

“Oh, but those views have so heavily changed in the past year,” Edith said, “And while the buzz has died down, there are many who still choose to remember you as a hero, Will.” She did not say that she was one of them, though Laurence could hope. 

Laurence did not know how to respond. He could not go to a party he had not been invited to, though he was sure an invitation could come if Edith only inquired. But then again, he also did not wish to go. Anything that remained of his enjoyment of high society had quite dissolved over his years as an aviator. 

Granby cleared his throat, saving him from answer. “Mrs. Woolvey, I presume?” he said, standing, “We have not met, but I owe you a deep debt of gratitude. Your husband was lost allowing mine own escape. I am at your service, Ma’am,” and he gave a shallow bow to emphasize his words. 

Edith swallowed, her face sinking. “Yes, it was a great tragedy,” she said, coldly, “What’s done cannot be undone, of course, and he died for his country. I have mourned for him, and now can only hope his soul is at rest.” She turned back to Laurence, and he felt his face flush. 

Tharkay stood suddenly, “Forgive me, my lady. Will, excuse me, I need some air.”

“Tenzing-“ He started, but Tenzing was already walking away. Laurence frowned, turning to Granby. “I’m sorry, Edith, it’s been wonderful to see you again. I think it is time for us to be leaving.”

Edith nodded, her face confused, and perhaps a little hurt. “I hope we shall meet again soon,” She said, as Laurence and Granby hurried after Tharkay. 

Stepping out of the restaurant, they had to jog slightly to catch up with him. “Tenzing!” he called, “Tenzing, wait!” Laurence called, Granby on his heels behind him. 

Tharkay reached the carriage and ran out of places to run. He turned, almost embarrassed. “Will, I must apologize,” he said, “I did not mean to interrupt your conversation, quite the opposite, I—“

“It’s alright,” Laurence said, interrupting, “The lack of invitations is a clear slight, you had no need to endure a reference to it.” He did not truly think that is what made him upset, it certainly wasn’t why he himself was upset...or, rather not upset, just...confused. However, this was as good an excuse as anything to spare him. 

Tharkay nodded, swallowing awkwardly. Laurence wanted to hold his arms out to him, but didn’t know how to comfort him. “Lets just return back to the estate,” Granby said, covering them both, “The dragons are probably done, it would be good to check in on them.” 

Tharkay and Laurence both nodded. Tharkay drove the carriage, leaving Granby and Laurence in the back, completely silent, and Laurence’s mind was full of contradictions. 

The moment they reached the estate again, Tharkay took off, allowing Granby and Laurence to walk to the Dragon pavilion alone. 

A great distance away, they could see the dragons were both asleep. “John,” Laurence, “Do you mind if I ask you something...personal.”

John shifted, uncomfortable. “I may be...unsuited to give you any advice about Mrs. Woolvey, um—“

“No,” Laurence cut him off, “No, this isn’t...I’m not going to be seeing Edith again, certainly not like that.”

Granby blinked, “Really?” He asked, “But I thought...I mean, she’s clearly changed her mind-“

“It’s not necessarily sincere,” he said, “As a widow with children, her prospects are limited if she wishes to marry again. A war hero who once held her in affection is a good chance.”

Granby clutched his head, “These are the moments I’m glad to be inverted. That’s way too complicated.” 

“Well, that’s a bit of what I wanted to talk about,” Laurence said, mouth going dry, “I wanted...I wanted to ask you, how you knew you were inverted.” 

Granby stopped dead, and Laurence thought he saw color in his cheeks, though it was hard to tell in the low light of the evening. “I apologize,” Laurence said quickly, “I beg of you to pretend I did not ask, it was inappropriate.”

“No,” Granby said, swallowing, “I mean, well, if any other man had asked, it would be, but I know you would rather swallow your neckcloth than offend me.” He took a deep sigh, “Lets go inside, I need some port.” 

The bottle that had already been opened before they left was missing, no doubt taken by Tharkay. Laurence knew where another was, and so opened that for them. “So,” John said, sitting with his glass. “Before I answer, and I will, I would like to know the reason for the question. 

Laurence sat, swirling his glass. He didn’t feel much like drinking now. “Before I met you,” he said, “and then, even before Cusco, I believed inversion was a symptom of lack of available prospects. As someone who nearly went to the church, I considered my will strong enough to resist. And when we made port, I considered my will strong again to resist any lower temptation, due to my love of Edith.”

Granby nodded, pouring another drink as he’d already swallowed the first. “I can see how you came to that conclusion.” 

“When my courtship with Edith ended, I was devastated, but, as you know, started a relationship with Jane Roland,” Laurence continued, “Once I was aware of, um, your proclivities, I believed these two relationships proof I was not so affected, and that my lack of attraction to any other woman proof of my Christian dedication.”

Granby actually smirked. “I always just thought you were a repressed prude, but what do I know?” 

Laurence scowled at him, though appreciated the lightening of the mood. “I try not to judge other men, as long as they behave well in greater society and do their duties without harm.” He took a deep breath, “But...lately…”

He bit his tongue, the words unable to go past his lips. Maybe it was a repressed nature as Granby said, but he didn’t know. There was fear there.

Granby put down his glass. “Let me tell you my story,” he said, saving his friend. “I was similar to you, in some ways. The midwingmen took me along when I was an ensign into town. My reluctance to join in their activities was attributed to my youth.” He clutched the sofa, tightly. “However, as they went on, describing what they wanted to do to and with the women of town, I pictured it instead with my best friend, a man who I will not name without his permission. Though, he never actually knew…” He frowned, thinking on the memory. “It wasn’t until I made midshipmen myself I met someone else like me, and after a great deal of wrestling with my own mind, I found peace with myself.” 

He leaned forward, head a little bowed, “Does that help?” he asked. 

Laurence frowned, “I don’t know,” he said, “It seems everyone so instantly feels some attraction to one gender or another. I don’t know if I am neither...or both…?” He let his head fall into his hands. “I am too old to be wondering what I am.”

Granby sighed, coming over to sit by him. “When we are not allowed to speak openly, it is easy for people to push their feelings aside for as long as possible,” he said, “I knew men with hair fully grey suddenly finding they enjoyed a life they were previously blind to.” Laurence frowned, wondering how closely he knew these men. “Stop that, go back to no judging.” Laurence breathed half a laugh at that. 

“I just want,” he said, “Some...level of clarity about my own life, for once.”

Granby whistled low, “That’s a big ask. Maybe too big. But you know what I realized, back as that young midwingman?” Laurence looked up. “The label doesn’t matter. What others think or call you doesn’t matter. All that matters is what makes you happy.”

Unconsciously, Laurence’s head jerked towards the door to Tharkay’s wing of the house. 

Granby chuckled, “The guest rooms are the same as they used to be, correct?” he said, standing up, “I think I remember the way, I’ll see myself there. Goodnight, Will.” 

“Goodnight,” Laurence said, watching him go. As soon as the door was closed, he made his way without hesitation to Tharkay’s room. 

Laurence was used to sleeping through loud noises, a useful skill given half the time he ended up sleeping on Temeraire’s foreleg. However, the groan that came from the bed was loud enough to break through even his slumber. 

Last night when he made it to Tharkay’s room, Tharkay had passed out, half on his bed, the empty bottle of port lying on the floor. He managed to tuck Tharkay in properly, and put some water on his bedside. He then fell asleep in Tharkay’s chair, and now was regretting it. 

He opened his eyes to see Tharkay waking up. Clutching his head in his hands. “Ugh, I used to be able to swallow a pair of bottles that size and be fine,” Tharkay said.

Laurence smiled, trying to get up, but immediately found a crick in his neck. “You’re getting old,” Laurence said, trying to massage his own muscles. He grunted, causing himself more pain than relief. “I am too, it seems.”

Tharkay blinked, more disheveled than he usually appeared. “Why are you in a chair?”

Laurence groaned, trying to get his neck to crack when it refused. “Well. Last night it was supposed to be a gesture. Now it feels more like a mistake.”

Tharkay summoned him over with a hand. Laurence sat on the edge of the bed beside him, and he started massaging into his neck. “You and your gestures can be awfully stupid at times.”

Laurence gave a laugh, “I know,” he said, “But who would I be if I stopped?”

He turned a bit to see Tharkay, meeting his eyes. The motion made it so Tharkay was cupping the back of his neck, in an intimate gesture. He started to pull away when Laurence held it in place. “Wait,” he said, his whole body filled with warmth, “Wait, I...I wanted to talk to you.”

Tharkay’s eyes sunk, and he looked into Laurence’s eyes. “Will, if this is some sort of honorable pity--”

“It’s not.” Laurence said. 

Tharkay hesitated. “Alright, then speak.” 

Laurence took a deep breath, “You have been my dearest friend these many years,” he said, “I owe you my life a thousand times over, and you have helped me through my own mind. When you offered for me to stay with you, I was gladder than I could have imagined.” He found it hard to meet Tharkay’s eyes. “While I would never dare pretend to fully understand one as complex as you, I feel I’ve gotten to know you better with each passing day.”

Tharkay pulled his hand away, sitting up to stare down Laurence intensely. “Cut to the end, Will,” he said, and he seemed almost angry, “Are you in love with Edith Woolvey?”

Laurence opened his mouth to answer, but the words didn’t come properly. Instead, he shook his head, no. “Are you in love with Jane Roland?” 

Laurence sighed. “I love her, but as a dear friend who I wish always in my life. What we once had is not gone, just changed into something else, and we both have moved on with our lives.” 

Tharkay took a shuddered breath. “Do you love John Granby?”

“What?” Laurence asked completely confused. 

“I know you have been very close,” Tharkay said, “And he is inverted and you--”

“Tenzing.” Laurence took Tharkay’s head in his hands, pulling his gaze to his own eyes, “Tenzing the only one I love in this way is you.” 

There it was, all laid out. The words finally left his mind and came into fruition. “I…” he said as Tharkay continued not to speak, “I did not put together the pieces until last night,” he said, “When I saw Edith, and fully remembered what my feelings for her had been, and I realized it was how I felt for you. Not exactly the same, but close enough for me to recognize it.”

Tharkay shook his head lightly, cheeks touching Laurence’s palms, “I’m dreaming.”

Laurence shook his head, “You’re not. Unless I am as well.”

“Then I’m dead,” he said, “I died in my sleep.”

Laurence laughed, “Why do you think that?”

“Because this isn’t real,” he said, “Things like this….they’re not real. I have fought for every inch of any happiness I have, and this can’t just...you can’t just…”

Laurence sighed, tilting his head. “If you preferred I leave, I can--”

“Never,” Tharkay said, pulling him in for a kiss. 

It was a bit rougher than any kiss he’d felt before, maybe because it was with a man, maybe because Tharkay was just hungover and not in his greatest state, but Laurence didn’t mind. He pulled him closer into the kiss, clutching the back of his head, allowing Tharkay to hold his hips. 

The force of it pushed Laurence back onto the mattress, a movement Laurence was more than willing to follow, but as soon as he hit the bed, his neck took protest again. “Ow,” he cried out, face scrunched up from the feeling. 

Tharkay leaned away. “Remember when you’d protest that you were hurt at all after a dragon battle?”

“I’m fine, really,” Laurence said, though he was still hunched in pain. 

Tharkay laughed, full on laughed, harder than Laurence had ever heard before. Even though his neck was trying to kill him, Laurence couldn’t help smiling at the sound. 

With a heave, he helped Laurence sit up. “So this is real after all,” he said, still chuckling, “Come on, we’ll get you a hot water bottle.”

He took Laurence’s hand, and he gladly followed.

Granby made his way downstairs with a smile on his face. It was nice to have the day off and to sleep in a bit. He wondered if the cooks had returned for the day to make some nice breakfast. 

He heard voices from the kitchen, so that was promising, though as he got closer he realized it was actually Tharkay and Laurence. 

Now, after years serving with Laurence, he knew the gentlemanly thing to do was quickly walk away, and pretend he had heard nothing. However, the snoop side of him had been working long before his gentlemanly side, and so he cautiously approached the door to see if they had actually talked, or if they somehow managed to evade each other yet again.

“Ow,” Laurence hissed, “Stop, that hurts.”

“You can take it,” Tharkay encouraged, “Come on, just hold steady, it’ll start feeling good in a moment.”

Laurence gave a low moan. Granby’s eyes went wide as he thought of what they must be doing. “Right there, yes.”

“There we go,” Tharkay chuckled at him, “Stubborn man.”

“You were right, as usual,” Laurence said. Then there was a damning silence. 

Granby could get breakfast just as easily at Dover, he thought, the flight wasn’t too long. Laurence might be hurt at the lack of goodbye, but he seemed otherwise occupied anyway. 

He scurried off to get his things onto Iskierka, not staying long enough to see Tharkay remove the hot water bottle and Laurence massaging his neck. “Let that be a lesson to you about your sleeping habits,” Tharkay said, putting it away. 

Laurence smirked, “You have a lot to say about my sleeping habits, hm?” which only earned him a smile and a roll of the eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think!


End file.
